Who Tends the Fires has commentary on the amazing story of Andrew Ironside, a geek who was elected valedictorian as a joke - and got the last laugh:
Mr. Ironside, who had his own page in the yearbook, had been elected valedictorian in a vote carefully orchestrated by his peers and designed to embarrass him.
But when graduation night arrived, he gave a speech that transformed a malicious high school joke into an ad libbed sequel to Revenge of the Nerds.
In his yearbook message, Mr. Ironside described the "shock waves of amazement" that spread throughout the school when he was elected by popular vote to speak at the school's Grade 12 commencement ceremony in October...
One of the rumours principal Tom Adams had heard was that the honour student had been elected valedictorian as a joke.
"It was a joke," confirmed teacher Heddy Wright, "nobody thought he would go through with it."
Wow, Ms. Wright, it's great to see you used your position of authority to stand by and watch your students make a unpopular kid valedictorian as a joke. Well, it doesn't matter if Ms. Wright ever got around to teaching her students lessons on compassion and understanding for others; Andrew got the last laugh:
"I'm pretty happy to say I've spent time with almost all of you," said the good-looking blond who introduced Mr. Ironside at the graduation ceremony. "Sadly to say, Andrew is not really included in this group of people. The truth is, I really barely know him."
The school valedictorian is entitled to select a student to introduce his valedictory address. Mr. Ironside's small group of friends, boys who preferred science to sports, politics to playoffs, were not willing to endure that level of public scrutiny. Left with few options, the teen who had spent most of his high school years sequestered in the library chose a popular, athletic classmate...
"He probably was the most unlikely person to be nominated, let alone actually win," the young man told the assembled crowd in a brief introduction one teacher described as "malicious."
"So why is he representing us? He was nominated by us, we campaigned for him, we persuaded people to vote for him."
After the laughter had died down, Mr. Ironside rose and took the podium on the makeshift stage in the school gymnasium...
"A lot of you were jerks," he informed the rows of 18-year-olds, dressed in oversized suits and undersized skirts.
"I wasn't thinking of a specific person, just people in general," he remembers of the following indictment he issued against a high school atmosphere of snobbery and exclusion.
"How people just rip on other people."
The intelligent and socially conscious teen knew his reputation and valedictory victory was a joke, but did not think his legacy had to be one.
"Valedictorians always go up there and talk about how we have all these great memories -- the best memories of our lives," he said from Brock University in St. Catharines, where he is now studying biochemistry. "I didn't want to talk like that. I wanted to maybe help the people who didn't have the greatest time in high school."
In his speech, Mr. Ironside said that at first he "thought it would be funny if someone like me was up here talking instead of an exceedingly popular person."
It was impossible for him to pretend high school had been an endless stream of fond memories, he said, and added that it was the cliques and attitudes of his classmates that ultimately defined their legacy.
He concluded his speech by telling his classmates he would "probably never see any of you again," and saw rows of steely-eyed parents behind his laughing classmates. "I knew some people wouldn't like it," he said. "I was kind of a nerd type. Nothing I could say would convince them I should be up there."
Bravo. If nothing else, that'll teach the jokesters that it's not very bright to put geeks on the spot, especially the spot directly in front of a microphone.
Who Tends the Fires was particularly scornful of the principal's naive response:
-----
Mr. Adams, who had been principal of the school since 1999, said Mr. Ironside's speech prompted much "reflection and soul searching" in the school and the community...
The principal does not believe the teen was the target of bullying or ridicule at the school, but admits his Grade 12 class, part of the province's double cohort, suffered a higher than normal level of teenage stress.
With only four years to gather the grades and resume fodder to get them into university, and with soaring admission standards creating cutthroat competition, the Grade 12s had bigger things on their mind than parties and prom dates.
At the commencement ceremony for OT's last OAC class, who graduated simultaneously with Mr. Ironside and his peers, Mr. Adams saw an obvious bond between teenagers.
"Andrew's class didn't seem to have that same character," he said. "There may have been more identifiable groups. Maybe that was a way of surviving."
-----
Mister Adams, you might want to adjust those rose-colored glasses of yours, they're cutting off the blood supply to your brain...
High School is hell, folks, especially for the nerds and geeks, of which I fell smack-dab into said category. We're not out to score the winning goal nor do we think sports are everything, we actually enjoy learning, and we normally learn at our own pace and on our own time. This usually makes us unpopular among the jocks-and-cheerleaders set, and can make us a thorn in the sides of the teachers as well. We're not only square pegs, we're square pegs from the Planet Freedlzorp compared to the usual group of misfits. Sometimes, during the tougher phases of High School, we wonder if we were even meant to exist on Earth; that maybe there was a routing glitch in the Ethereal System that dropped our souls in the wrong proverbial Inbox. Getting through a single day in school was sometimes a hellish battle for scraps of dignity, and there were more than a few times when I wondered if I'd ever survive the day with my spirit intact...
Obviously Andrew managed to do so. He's now a biochem major at college; may his braininess and studiousness be rewarded.
Posted by kswygert at December 29, 2003 11:40 AM