For all of my Devoted Readers who are also Devoted But Weary Parents:
Top ten signs it's time for your spawn - kid(s) - to go back to school:
10. You've cashed in their college fund to rent them an apartment - on the other side of town.
9. The TV picture tube has blown from the continued use.
8. Not only have they forgotten everything from the previous school year, but quite a bit from the year before that.
7. You think it's about time you got to use the computer again.
6. Their chores have been reduced to bring me a beer and go play in the street.
5. The summer camp you shipped them off to sends them home.
4. You now understand why other species eat their young or kick them out at an early age (and wonder how difficult it would be to barbecue them).
3. It's definitely time for them to learn about condoms, environmental activism, masturbation, and the evils of capitalism (obviously, a public school).
2. It been a few months since the last teacher having sex with a student scandal hit the news.
And,
1. That big yellow bus keeps showing up in front of your house each morning
(and it's not The Partridge Family or a prison road gang).