Bridget Dehl shushed her 21-month-old son Gavin, then clapped a hand over his mouth to squelch his tiny screams amid the Sunday brunch bustle. When Gavin kept yelping "yeah, yeah, yeah," Dehl quickly whisked him from his highchair and out the door.Right past the sign warning the cafe's customers that "Children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices when coming to A Taste of Heaven," and right into a nasty spat roiling the stroller set in Chicago's changing Andersonville neighborhood.
The owner of A Taste of Heaven, Dan McCauley, said he posted the sign -- at child level, with playful handprints -- in the hope of quieting his tin-ceilinged cafe, where toddlers have been known to sprawl between tables and hurl themselves at display cases for sport.
But many neighborhood mothers took umbrage at the implied criticism of how they handle their children.
Note: He's not telling them how to rear their children. He's not trying to pass laws that affect how they rear their children. He's telling them that when they're in his restaurant, he expects everyone - even precious Taylor and Maximillian - to conduct themselves in such a way that everyone is comfortable.
Here in Chicago, parents have denounced Toast, a popular Lincoln Park breakfast spot, as unwelcoming since a note about using inside voices appeared on the menu six months ago. The owner of John's Place established a separate "family-friendly" room a year ago, only to face parental threats of lawsuits. When a retail clerk in Andersonville asked a woman to stop breast-feeding last spring, "the neighborhood set him straight real fast," said Mary Ann Smith, the area's alderwoman.
Because, as we all know, children cannot be expected to learn inside voices, and breast-feeding women cannot be expected to consider the comfort level of anyone else around them. These kinds of comments are so insulting to parents who DO control their kids and DO teach them manners and DO take the feelings of everyone else into account. I, for one, make sure to compliment every parent who does a great job of keeping their kids occupied on plane trips. I know that can't be easy.
Kudos to the stores who reach out to upset children, and there should be no sarcastic remarks from staff about "screamers," but restaurants should be free to set the general tone of their place and ask anyone whose behavior is out of line to leave. If you ask me, they should also ban loud/stupid cell phone conversations, people who wave their cigarettes around, and customers who substitute bathing in Axe or Giorgio for actual bathing.
I'm also waiting for a bright entrepreneur to open a cinema that is 21-and-up only, but with no alcohol or fattening food served. That way, the audience will consist only of adults who haven't drunk so much they've lost their inside voice. Heaven.
Update: The Ace of Spades offers his take on the controversy:
Don't you even dare suggest that a child's public behavior should meet any sort of standard, oh dear me, no. You see, if you quietly suggest that perhaps children should not run around like Speedy Gonzales whilst screaming at the top of their lungs and bouncing off display cases, then some parents take that as a personal attack and start returning fire.
I can understand Ace's perspective, but I can also understand the feelings of some Devoted Readers who teach their children proper manners but would still feel a bit, well, paranoid in stores that post signs about proper behavior. Ultimately, a lot would rest on how staff members deal with parents whose children are misbehaving. A parent who is trying to get their kid under control deserves sympathy and patience, while those who ignore their child's tantrums can be asked to remove the kid at once.
Posted by kswygert at November 20, 2005 05:31 PM